Welcome to…..
At the Not Very Helpful Group, we pride ourselves on our commitment to providing the least useful advice possible. Our team of highly untrained experts has spent years perfecting the art of the unhelpful response. Whether you need guidance, support, or a solution to your problem — you’ve come to exactly the wrong place. And we couldn’t be prouder.
Not Very Helpful Ode To Life
We’re not very helpful, we’ll say it out loud,
We’re not the most useful, we’ll say it out proud.
We won’t fix your boiler or balance your books,
We won’t write your thesis or improve how you looks.
But pull up a chair and stay for a while,
We’ll offer a chuckle, a groan, and a smile.
A dad joke or two, maybe three, maybe more,
A photo, a rant, and an old iMac score.
We’re just ordinary folk with a keyboard and heart,
No experts, no gurus — just making a start.
We muddle along in the way that we do,
And somehow, we hope, that reminds you of you.
Because life isn’t perfect and neither are we,
But there’s joy in the muddle, if you look, you will see.
So stay for the waffle, the nonsense, the pun —
You’re one of us now, and the fun’s just begun.
This site aims to be neither helpful or unhelpful, which is indeed why we are just ‘not very helpful’. This means we might accidentally be helpful or unhelpful, but be assured there is no intention to be either and any such occurrence is purely coincidental.
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